Thursday, 28 May 2015

Baby number three and me.

The last post I wrote was way back in January! It was centred on whether we should have a third child or not. At the time I wrote that I was actually pregnant with my third but had only just found out when it came to publishing the post on my blog.

So yes we decided to take the plunge and have baby number three! I'm so happy with our decision (so far  - haha) and I'm really looking forward to meeting our child. I look at my own two children and find it incredible that the one growing within me will also grow up, have their own personality, their own distinct look, likes/dislikes. I wonder who this baby will be...

It's been good to reach this dreamy state after a difficult first trimester of pregnancy. My heart rhythm was playing up very early on and my IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) issues were quite intense. I also has nausea and a stomach bug during this time. It was also the time by daugher Issy started Kindy. It was all so overwhelming with a new routine, heart palpitations and a constant sea sickness feeling.

Thank goodness it didn't last!! I still have a few issues here and there with my health but I've been able to mainly enjoy the second trimester and just get on with life - as you do with baby number three!  My tummy is growing day by day and baby is having lots of fun kicking and playing within my tum. We found out the sex of the baby but we're keeping it hush hush. So far just one tiny smile which may have turned into a slip up!

One thing that has really helped me feel more positive about this stage in life is a boost in my career. I had been struggling with deciding to have a baby because I worried about not progressing in my work and also feeling like I wasn't achieving much. I'm not a career woman as such but I'm someone who loves to achieve, reach goals and have purpose beyond life in the home. I get miserable very quickly if I'm not achieving anything which can be a bit of a problem at times! I had quit my small business venture in November last year and started working just one day a week in my Dad's business. However, I wasn't really feeling very challenged in my role and back in March this year I started to feel myself sliding into depression again. Thankfully, I was the offered a contract for a new job via a friend. This job was in public relations / media publicity - a field I hadn't really worked in since I had children. The thought of this job excited me and overwhelmed me. It was just for 5 weeks, three days a week so I thought why not? It ended up being a massive five weeks but I'm so happy I made the decision to go for it. I've now had the contract extended and I've been hired by the company that originally arranged the contract. I have had a much-needed boost in confidence and have achieved things I didn't imagine I would be able to do. I can also work from home and just on the two days I have my son in day care. It's worked out so well.

I've also been able to conquer many of my fears that were anxiety related. With each fear I conquered I felt able to take another step forward in conquering another. It's just small things that most people would have no problems with at all, but for me they were big, overwhelming fears that were previously controlling my life. I feel like I've finally been able to get a grip of the anxiety that's controlled me too much in the past. In doing this I feel more confident as a mum, a wife and a pregnant woman. I feel stronger inside myself which is so important when things will soon be hectic with a new born baby.

I also feel like I can look forward to having a "break" when baby arrives. I will be ready for no work by then - I'm already starting to feel that way as I become more pregnant and tired.

This year has brought some lovely surprises and changes. It has taken me a little while to get use to the school routine but I do love having a little bit of structure to the day even though it's within such a tight time frame of 9am - 2.55pm each day. My big girl Issy is doing so well at school and I'm so proud of how she's made friends, and really wants to learn! Such a relief after a not-so-good experience at preschool.

Well, it's getting late and I still need to fold washing at 9pm. Sigh. It will only get busier but I feel ready to embrace it a little more now days. x