Life is hectic, crazy, fun, and tiring right now. I'm often in limbo with my feelings towards this time of our life as a family. I want to click pause, to soak in the beautiful newborn snuggles, angelic smiles and silky smooth skin of my six month old Lucy. I'd also like to hit pause on my son Fin and daughter Issy's adoration for their mum & Dad. They say the sweetest things right now about how much they love us. For example, Fin said to me the other day, "Mum I love you so much mum, you're so handsome, you're so sweet. I like you." And Issy was being so caring tonight when I wasn't feeling well. She got me her doona and draped it over my limp body that lay on the lounge. She found me the teddy I had as a child growing up and then wrote me a letter saying that she was so happy God gave me to her. What a sweetheart!!
Yet, there are also some things I can't wait to speed up and say goodbye to permanently! I really don't like Lucy's constant sleeping needs right now. It's so restrictive! It's hard enough when its just you and the baby but when it's the baby, myself, a school child, a preschool and my husband things get tricky. We spend many days in and out of the car, rushing here and there trying to get things done before she needs her next sleep. On the weekend, the rest of the family wants to enjoy outings and I want to join them - however it's becoming more and more difficult. Lucy isn't as keen to sleep out these days. So when we are out it can be stressful trying to be apart of something and yet trying to settle her if she's tired (sometimes to no avail). Fin is also a handful around other kids at the moment. He's struggling with learning how to socialise properly. He currently has a preference for destroying the games of other kids, poking people in the back, getting up close to their face and saying "bum" and "poo" over and over again! He has been labeled "naughty" at preschool by his peers which stabs at my heart. He truly is a sweetheart one on one and I find him so easy to be home with. However, in social situations he just gets over excited and often out of control. Issy is a beauty and I truly don't want her to grow up in most ways as I'm dreading any pre-teen behaviour but I'm looking forward to perhaps more emotional regulation - it's something we need to work on with her.
Having three kids is also tough on marriage. Luke and I rarely share the same bedroom these days as Lucy wakes up so frequenlty and won't go back to sleep easily in the early hours so I take her into the single bed in her room. Fin also wakes every night and jumps into our bed. I was having terrible night's sleep and Fin and Lucy were waking one another so this has made things easier. I feel like we're living like housemates at the moment but I know it's only for a time - another one I'm hoping to fast forward.